random thoughts on traveling - part four, the random

The rest of the things I have to say are all funny little things. So I am just going to list them.

1. There is nothing worse than the feeling of someone else’s arm hair when you are sitting next to them on a plane and their hairy arm is taking up the armrest next to you. Gross!

2. Ipods should not be allowed to die on your first flight of 78.

3. I am becoming an expert at the aisle- seat-head-bob-sleep-thing. Embarrassing!

4. Radio advertisements are the worst thing ever. Example one, from a Shane’s Company advertisement, “Remember guys, there aren’t any mulligans on marriage proposals. So do it right at the Shane Company.” HAHA isn’t that hilarious?!? A joke about golf and how men are stupid all in one! That’s my favorite kind of joke. It’s as bad as that guy we saw with Patton Oswalt, who seriously made jokes like “San Francisco is liberal!” Die. Example two, “Girls, don’t let guys have all the fun. Shooting ranges are for girls too!” I am not kidding.

5. Pre-set radio stations are horrendous.

6. You cannot order salt on the side when getting a shot of tequila. The lady will look down on you.

7. I don’t understand people who dress up for pro-football games. I’m looking at you Minneapolis.

8. Salt Lake City has really confusing streets. They are all labeled 100, 200, 300 etc. and then to make it worse there are four 100 streets (N,S,E,and W), and to make it worse than that there is E100S and S100E, and to make it the worst yet, some people call 100 streets 1 and 200 streets 2 and so on. Finally at the interview, we found out that (sit down) the streets are named that way so that at any given point you know where you are in relation to the temple, which is the epicenter of the city. I tried to cover the look that flashed on my face when he said this, but I don’t think I did a good job.

9. Try not to slip in ice and land on your right hand so hard that it possibly breaks your elbow. Yes, this really happened, this morning on the way to the airport. (Courtesy of Tony, “You are cursed hahahahahaha.”)

10. Teleportation needs to be invented immediately. No more planes!

11. Peas are the anti-bacon.