You know the day is not going to go your way when...

1. You were woken up by your kitty every couple hours the night before.

2. One of the times you woke up you are fairly certain she learned how to open the door on her own and she scared the living shit out of you.

3. You open your trunk to find the milk you bought the night before.

4. You go back to the store to get milk after work at the exact moment that the sky opens up with a torrential downpour of biblical proportions.

5. You are forced to walk directly into a large stream of water on the way into the store because your only other option is to try and jump the stream in your exceedingly slippery (what were you thinking when you got dressed?) shoes. And in the would you rather of soak your shoe or get a TBI you always pick soak your shoe.

5. All your groceries get soaked in the walk back to the car and you almost snap your fingers in your umbrella.

6. You somehow hit your ass so hard getting back into the car that the last time you can remember it hurting that bad was when you were a little kid and you fell of your bike directly onto your ass bone (tail bone?). There will be a bruise.

7. You open your door and see dog shit.

Today was awesome!