You know the day is not going to go your way when...

1. You were woken up by your kitty every couple hours the night before.

2. One of the times you woke up you are fairly certain she learned how to open the door on her own and she scared the living shit out of you.

3. You open your trunk to find the milk you bought the night before.

4. You go back to the store to get milk after work at the exact moment that the sky opens up with a torrential downpour of biblical proportions.

5. You are forced to walk directly into a large stream of water on the way into the store because your only other option is to try and jump the stream in your exceedingly slippery (what were you thinking when you got dressed?) shoes. And in the would you rather of soak your shoe or get a TBI you always pick soak your shoe.

5. All your groceries get soaked in the walk back to the car and you almost snap your fingers in your umbrella.

6. You somehow hit your ass so hard getting back into the car that the last time you can remember it hurting that bad was when you were a little kid and you fell of your bike directly onto your ass bone (tail bone?). There will be a bruise.

7. You open your door and see dog shit.

Today was awesome!

"you're a tough COOKIE" - Marta Karoli

I am unabashedly addicted to the Olympic coverage. I can't get enough. In my normal life, I am not crazily patriotic but the Olympics come on and I am like actively rooting for other teams to fail. I kind of suck. Needless to say, I have come to familiarize myself with the announcers of the sports televised in prime time (diving, swimming, gymnastics). The diving chick is super annoying. She is definitely knowledgeable but sometimes needlessly throws things out like "short muscle twitch fiber" that make no sense to anyone. Bring it down a notch girl. Now, the swimming dudes are pretty great. I don't really have any beef with them. They are knowledgeable, pass on the knowledge, give good information about swimmers from other countries you wouldn't know, don't treat the viewers like idiots or assume the audience knows things they don't. They also had the best called race of the games so far, the spectacularly awesome men's 4 x 100 freestyle relay. I mean you can just tell they love swimming.

I do not feel this way about the gymnastic dudes.

First, the entire scoring system is all different than it used to be, and they keep talking about it, but they haven't really explained it on the broadcast, so that's annoying. But way, way, way worse than that is their constant need to jinx the fuck out of the gymnasts. It's like, "These gymnasts need absolute perfection in this next event and they are perfect and it will be glorious." And then two seconds later it's like, "Oh, and the team has fallen apart with 18 mandatory deductions. I guess I spoke too soon." I can't handle it. I spend the entire time knocking on wood. (yes, I'm that crazy) Finally, why did NBC hire Bela Karoli and then stick him with Bob Costas in the broadcast center? That guy needs to be calling the event! Isn't that the whole point of giving him a job?!? I don't get it.

roly poly

I just saw a roly poly in the library. (Or is it rolly polly?) I love rolly pollys. They are so weird like tiny little aliens. I love rolling them up and moving them around my palm like a real life version of monkey ball. Probably the only creepy crawly that is not actually creepy. But I ask you, weirdest animal ever? Or does a sea horse win? Or a slug? Or something else I haven't thought of?

shh don't tell dissertation

Do you think dissertation will recognize me if I go incognito?

gym thoughts

Yes, Tony, I recognize the inherent hilarity of me writing about the gym, but as I have started to go with regularity, there are some observations I thought I would share.

Yesterday was the first time I went at six pm. Usually I try to go in the morning because it isn't very busy and I like to get it out of the way. Now, before I continue, you have to understand that the gym, a 24 hour, while decent sized, is not that big, and it is in a parking lot with nothing else except for a small bakery. The parking lot looks like it should be for a stadium. It's gigantic. So, I always wondered what the deal was. Well, turns out, at 6, you might as well just go home and come back at like 8. The parking lot was completely full. Couldn't believe my eyes.

Obviously, this means that the gym was ridiculously packed. There was not a single machine not in use. Gross. So while I was waiting to sneak in, grab a spot, and do some weights real quick so I could bounce, I noticed something interesting about the population of the gym at 6pm. I think this is the craigslist missed connection crowd. Just a ton of gym jocks and their girls. Now, don't get me wrong. The morning crowd has its own share of gym jocks and those guys are way more hardcore because they're the ones that must spend like every minute at the gym what with their 70 pound bicep curls. But this crowd was like the j-crew frat boy gym jocks. Needless to say, I am never going back to the gym at 6 ever ever again. In fact, when I told Mike about it last night I believe I used thirteen "never evers." Worst. Time. Ever.

Now, aside from the two sets of gym jocks and their associated girls, there are some other fun characters. My favorites are the oldish men who are really into their preplanned workouts. They are my kind of gym people because they tend to get in and get out with a minimum of foolishness, as I try to do as well. Then there are the ubiquitous 24 hour trainers, who are ALWAYS there, either training other people or being trained by their coworkers. Then there are the girls that work out in pairs. They are related to, but not quite the same as, the die hard class goers. Those people, mostly women, wait outside the group room for fifteen minutes to make sure they get a good spot in their class. Finally, there are the old women swimmers. There might be old men swimmers too, but I would never know it with the direct pool access from the locker rooms.

I almost forgot the slackers! I just recently left their ranks. But those are the kids you know never come because they walk around looking terribly confused and sort of half ass their way through everything. Those were the days.

library bathrooms are scary

Spending a lot of time in the library can can sometimes make your mind run away from you. I keep wondering why the library bathrooms always colder than the actual library even when the actual library is really, really cold. They are also preternaturally quiet and still. It doesn't matter how quiet the library proper is. The bathroom will always seem creepily silent in comparison.

Which is why, every time I use the bathroom here, I imagine that it would be a good setting for a murder mystery. I think I watched too much Clue when I was little.